While we are always striving to be our best, positive and cheerful– sometimes we just can’t be. Sometimes, we aren’t okay – and that’s okay.
“Sometimes it has to be enough to acknowledge that you are absolutely not okay. But that you know at some point you will be. So you hang on with clenched fist and a shaky heart and you waited out.”
– Nanea Hoffman
There are a lot of messages in the world that can confuse us. It makes us feel like we have to be operating at a certain level all the time. Like we have something we have to live up to. It can make us feel that when we are having personal issues that affect our ability to cope, it’s a major problem, or we are damaged in some way. But actually – it’s that kind of thinking that is the problem.
Nobody is perfect, or 100% on their game at all times. Everyone has problems and issues in life – even the people that seem to have it all or are successful. It’s a big mistake when we try to measure ourselves against others.
The important thing is to not allow these feelings and emotions to cause us to start criticizing ourselves, which only does further damage. This is it is so crucial to tell ourselves that “it’s okay to not be okay.” This prevents us from self-hatred, self-criticism, self-abuse or negative thoughts that are only going to worsen our situation mental and otherwise.
When we aren’t okay, we can feel like we are a failure, an outcast or worthless. Like there is something wrong with us. That is surely not the case.
Everyone has good and bad days, and just because you aren’t okay right now – doesn’t mean you won’t be at some time in the future. Having ups and downs is part of being human.
If you’re someone struggling with mental illness, psychological issues, grief, trauma or dealing with some other kind of pressure – just know that lots of other people are doing the same, even very successful people. Having these types of issues doesn’t make you any less of a person or makes anyone else better than you. Almost everyone has issues they deal with, some to lesser or higher degrees than others.
While it’s okay to not be okay, is also important to realize when you aren’t. When you know you our having problems, ignoring those problems isn’t the answer. It’s important to acknowledge that you have problems and then seek ways to work through them.
It’s also important to work through your problems in healthy ways. To that end, it’s best to find someone to help you work through the problems or act as a mentor in helping you work things out.
There are healthy ways such as developing coping strategies. For example, journaling, engaging in physical activity, mindfulness, deep breathing and many other methods.
Socializing is also important, as isolation is a poor way to work through problems in most cases. Everyone needs someone to talk to, to vent to, to weigh their thoughts against for feedback, and this is one reason isolation does more harm than help.
Sometimes it takes pain and struggles to shape us, to make us into what we eventually will become. Our challenges are what transform us into something stronger, more unique or puts us on the path to different directions in life. Sometimes our struggles are actually good fortune in disguise – although it may be difficult to see at the time it is happening.
So it’s okay to not be okay. Acknowledge that you have problems, but don’t punish yourself for having them. Work through them, at your own pace, taking as much time as you need without putting any pressure on yourself. That way, you’ll always be okay, even if you aren’t feeling that way in the short term. Know that it’s only for the time being.